It is a difficult thing indeed to determine when to tell someone that you care for, that the things that they may do or not do, are not appropriate or cause you have feelings that are hurtful. You care for someone so much, that keeping quiet, hurts and tears you up. Yet, if you tell the other person, that also hurts and tears the other person up………What to do?
I know in my heart what to do but as a Christian, I have believed in my head not to hurt the other person by letting them know. However, in my heart as a Christian I know another way. It is very difficult to balance the head and the heart. Who should one benefit more or is there a balance?
Do the actions of the person that you do not want to hurt, also effect other people? Do they then in turn have a departmental effect on the person you care for? How do you effect a change with someone and is not hurtful but helpful? Can you have one with out the other. Maybe, however sometimes there will be some hurt to feel better.
Always, we must keep in mind, that what we will say to another in helping, should be done out of Christian love. I believe that if the information provided does not come out of love, it should not be said. It must also be truthful and planned out in such away to allow both to interact in a thoughtful conversation. If it is hurtful or to satisfy ones own desire to feel better, we must rethink what we are about to do.
Your final paragraph is wise counsel. As for putting it into practice, a good example of one approach is Nathan’s admonishment of David with respect to that whole sordid Uriah/Bathsheba affair described in 2 Samuel 11 and 12. At least two aspects come to mind. One,Nathan didn’t hurt David, he simply allowed David to become aware of the fact that he (David) was already hurting, a fact manifested in his damaged relationship with the Lord. (That’s what sin does.) And two, Nathan did not simply tell David he was wrong but rather, by analogy, helped David to draw that conclusion himself. As the title of your post suggests, this is a case where Nathan’s silence would have been to David’s detriment. By having the courage to rebuke the king, Nathan may well have saved David’s soul. (That is, God does the saving but Nathan acted as an instrument to that end.)
As always, I love your responses. They are insightful and provide valuable perspective.