Recently, in fact this week, I started my CPE program. CPE is an acronym for Clinical Pastoral Education. At the same time, my pastor is on vacation, I am being the supply pastor for the weekend, a friend of mine is in the hospital and is depressed about a surgery they are having and I was just notified by another parishioner about a death in their family. How do we self care when caring for others? I heard my supervisor in CPE say that they had been told that if we all worked on our own self care more, there would be no worries for others to work on….or something to that effect.
Some people are not capable of working on their own worries without medication or even intensive assistance. Self care actually cannot be done solely by us but it does start with us and God. By being more self aware, we can be alert to situations that we know will be stressful, be alert to feelings that arise and know if those feelings are related to our own experiences from past situations. By knowing this, we can then monitor this feelings and by self identifying them, we can be less likely to allow them to control us. In God all things are possible and God’s shoulders are large enough to handle our worries. We cannot truly handle the problems of the world nor should we try to. God can and does work through others to offer support to us in our times of stress.
As I mentioned earlier, there are a few items that I myself am dealing with as I write this blog post. For me, writing about this is one stress reliever. Also to realize that I cannot change how someone feels or remove their fears or anxiety. I can be a sounding board and by allowing the Holy Spirit to work through me, I can be of comfort to others without taking on their worries but still walking with them in their situations. A Chaplain I once spoke to told me this about his role as a Chaplain and those he encounters. He cannot stand outside of of the swamp and call those in the swamp out, nor can he only wade in a little and throw a rope. His job is to be in the moment with those in the swamp, side by side, not in place of nor partake in their stress, anxiety or fears. However while being side by side, walk with the person, be with them, understand and listen to them on their, note, their journey out of the swamp. This allows him to be in the moment for this person and when going to the next person, not to carry over the cares of the other into the swamp of the new person.
As I go through my CPE, I hope to keep these words of wisdom in mind. I have also a fantastic support group of fellow chaplains, of multiple age groups, experience and spiritual backgrounds and denominations.
Look for opportunities to share, to be with others, to allow Spirit to work in and with you and take care of your own spirit so you can also be with others.