Over the weekend I had a get together with some friends at my camper. We get together, some are the same people but sometimes there are new or old friends that have been away for some time. The nice thing is all are welcome and you can just step right back in. So, this weekend however, the dynamics were very different than in the past. Two of my friends that normally come down early on Friday, came very late on Friday and left before noon on Saturday. Don’t get me wrong, I truly appreciated the time they were down there. We had some great conversations around the camp fire…….always do. However, them leaving on Saturday noon vs. leaving on Sunday at noon left a hole in me.
On Saturday more friends came down, however they arrived very late in the day as well. Again, this was not the norm from the past. All day as I waited their arrival, something just was not in place. Although I had time to read and study for classes I felt lost. When the others arrived and we all got settled, all seemed to be put back in place, minus the two that had left that morning. As I reflected back upon this on Monday, I could see what my professor was speaking of in class on Thursday. A change from your norm, can be a loss and a loss of spacial orientation. I was experiencing being lost in a spacial sense, in relation to how the weekend was “suppose” to be.
When I left to come back to Seminary on Sunday afternoon, I was very excited to be coming back home. My wife was there waiting for me. During this transition time we do not get to see each other very often and she had actually arrived on Friday but this weekend had been pre-planned as it is every year. However when I got home and got settled, I started to feel unsettled very quickly. I was in my office reading and my wife was at the kitchen table doing her studies. She had driven two and a half hours to be with the family, yet we were apart. That evening I did not sleep well either. I tossed and turned as I knew she would be leaving on Monday while I was in class. I did see her for breakfast and about twenty mins during lunch but off to class I went and off she went as well. Not until today did I stat to feel better again. Now this may seem wrong but sometimes it is harder seeing her knowing she is leaving, vs. not seeing her and waiting for her return. I love my wife very dearly and our family needs and wants to be whole again but it is also in God’s time. So once again I realized that I had become lost in a spacial sense, from my norm.
To compound the weekend, I received multiple email regarding people loosing loved ones. I began to think of their impact on each of them, their families and our community here at the Seminary. I also received an email with regards to someone who was having significant difficulties dealing with an illness and the idea of going into the hospital. Monday was a very difficult day, still dealing with the weekend, the idea of my wife headed back to her temporary home and all the email loss, wow! wow! wow!
Today is a new day and I rejoice in the day that God has created and the new adventures that lay upon my path. I give thanks that God has put this community of Wartburg with me. I pray that all that are afflicted with their loss, small or large as each loss is our own, are able to deal with their loss and learn from their loss, and continue onto to a new do with God.
In Jesus’ name I pray, holding fast to the faith that through Jesus all things are possible and that God will deliver us all into God’s kingdom.
Amen