We had some pretty straight forward conversations about death. He was prepared and was looking forward to his death. That is not to say he wanted to necessarily die but he was at peace with this and knew it was to come and was open arms welcoming death. Yes, there had to be some sort of relief involved with this as well, since he had so many health ailments.
I really wanted to be at the funeral that was held on Tuesday. I was torn and started to try to figure out how to re-arrange class, get reading done, cancel a meeting etc etc. Well, I did not get as much reading as I wanted to done over the weekend. Then I figured, well maybe I can get someone to tape the lectures and I can listen to those later. Now, how do I take care of reading while I am on the 3 hr drive there and back? None of my books are on audio. Even the one electronic book I have, is on Nook and that does not offer an option to have it read to you.
Well I never went and I still feel I should have. I was told my school work and classes are my work now, but even with work, I could have taken time off. I wanted to be there to say goodbye to be with family and friends. I know Don understands now I just have to take the time to understand myself. I know I will and I ask God to help.